So we’re almost two months in to the New Year - how are those resolutions going? If you’re like most people, probably not well. Or maybe you didn’t bother to set any resolutions at all, because the thought of thinking ahead is just too overwhelming. How about those obligatory business goals? I’m sure you know the ones. The things you have to enter into a system and then never look at again for the rest of the year. One way or another, most of us set some sort of goals for ourselves, either personal or professional, and seriously struggle to achieve them.

Why?

It’s not for lack of resources on how to set and accomplish goals. Google “goal setting” and you will come up with an endless list of resources, tips, and methodologies. It’s usually because we lack the understanding of what we actually want, WHY we’ve set the goals we have, or lack the motivation to make the goals we’ve set a priority. I’ll be blunt here. We choose what we do and how we use our time. If we’re not reaching the goals we’ve set, it’s because for some reason we’ve chosen not to. (Disclaimer - There’s an assumption here you’re setting goals that are attainable and realistic. I’m not diving into the aspects of a good goal here.)

That may sound harsh, but it’s actually an opportunity to look deeper into what we really want and what motivates us. Example - I’ve had a goal set for myself for YEARS around drinking more water. And year after year, I fail at this goal. Any amount of SMART goal setting or gamification through apps does not seem to help. And, inevitably, I feel crappy about myself when I fail, because how hard is it to drink water???

But, honestly, I don’t particularly like water. It’s fine. I drink it. But it’s not something that I’m excited to do or enjoy drinking. So for me to achieve this goal, I have to REALLY want to drink water. It needs to tie back to something that is extremely important to me and something I want to make a priority. So to answer the question of "how do I make drinking water into something important and meaningful to me?” I have to actually know what is important and meaningful to me.

Knowing what we actually want is Step 1 of goal setting that usually gets glossed over and is a key reason why we don’t achieve the goals we’ve set for ourselves.

This can seem really scary and overwhelming for people, but it doesn’t have to be. You can start exploring what it is you really want in as little as 10 minutes. Start small. Start by journaling, or drawing a picture. Answer the question, “Where do I see myself in ___(Fill in the Blank Time Period)___.” Make the picture as detailed and as real as possible. What are you doing? Who are you around? Where are you? What’s around you? The details make it real. The more real it feels, the more you’ll want to grasp it. Your goals are what stand between you today and this future you.

You can also explore your values to help you determine what it is you really want. I have a workbook HERE that can help you get started.

At the end of the day, what’s important is knowing what your goals are in pursuit of. If you don’t know what your goals are in pursuit of, then they become arbitrary and meaningless. Like my desire to drink more water, just because I feel I should be drinking more water. Unless I am able to see how my goal of drinking more water supports the vision and future I see for myself, it will never make the big list of priorities I have for myself and how I choose to expend my energy.

Okay, now it’s your turn. What do you really want? If you’re going to start goal setting, what is the future you want your goals to be in pursuit of?