I’m Not Giving up on Work/Life Balance, and You Shouldn’t Either
It seems these days that the term "work/life balance" is a dirty word. Articles, such as this one from Forbes, are throwing out the term "balance" in favor of terms like integration or harmony. I did a super scientific poll on my Social Media and 2/3 of respondents say they hate the term "work/life balance." No, this was not super scientific, and yes, this was a very small sample size, but I think my point still stands - people have a problem with work/life balance.
Personally, I have no qualms with the term balance, or integration, or harmony. I don't care what you call it, the problem with achieving it isn't the term, it's our mindset.
I think for many people, the term balance equals a perfect equilibrium. You feel a perfect equilibrium of work and life at all times. Now, let's be honest. That is just unrealistic. Also, what does the perfect balance of work and life even look like? Isn't work PART of your life? And thus, we have our hatred toward a term that represents the unattainable perfection that we're all striving for and failing miserably at.
Now, quick experiment. I want you to stand up wherever you are and balance on one leg. Unless you have the core-strength of the Hulk, you are probably wobbling a bit as you balance. Making constant small compensations in the pressure of your foot in order to keep yourself balancing on one foot.
I bolded balancing for a reason - work/life balance isn't an outcome. It's the action of making intentional decisions about where you want to exert the two variables available to you: your time and energy. In order to find your best version of work/life balance you need to be aware of the compensations and shifts you are willing to make to keep you standing. These intentional choices, shifts, and compensations come from all areas of your life, not just work. It's never going to be a perfect equilibrium balance, nor should that be the expectation. Your job is to determine what intentional choices you need to make in your life.
Here are a few steps to get you started:
List out all the areas of your life you want to balance. A few ideas might be career, family, friends, fun, sleep, spirituality, health, etc. Only you know what elements are important in your life.
For each area, consider how balanced you're CURRENTLY feeling on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being not all balanced, 10 being the most balanced you could ever possibly feel).
For each area, consider how balanced you WANT to feel on a scale of 1 - 10.
Hint: 10 is not always the right answer. I did this exercise a few months ago and realized I was probably overly balanced on fun. I had just quit my job and was living summer to its fullest. At that point I was ready to put more energy into my business and dial down the fun balance.
Consider where you need to make intentional choices, shifts, and compensations in your time and energy in order to max out your idea of balance.
Time and energy here are important. Something may be very time-consuming, but give you energy and totally worthwhile. Something else could be getting very little of your time, but is life-sucking for you and steals all your energy to do anything else.
REPEAT! This is not a one-and-done exercise. If you are ever feeling "out of balance" this is probably a good exercise to do. Life changes. Seasons change. Our workload changes. Our needs and wants change. This is part of the balancing act. Being intentional and aware of where you are and what you need right now.
Now, having said all this. I also understand that there are some parts of this balancing act that are just out of your control. You may need more emphasis on sleep, but have a sick child. You may want to put more emphasis on your health, but have very demanding work hours that limit your availability to go to the gym. I encourage you not to use these as excuses or blockers of your ongoing balancing act, but use these as moments to really ask yourself the hard questions about what you need and what something is worth to you.
If you're ready to find your idea of balance, but need some help to get you there, I'm here for you! Let's have a conversation about how to get you started.