Part Two - Defeating the Goal Crushers
Okay, so you’ve done the work of determining what you want and why it’s important to you. (If you haven’t, read Part One of this series HERE!). You’ve set the goals that are going to help you get there and they feel meaningful. They are definitely goals you’re going to make a priority.
Now, what?
Well, now it’s up to you to execute. Go get your goals! Simple as that, right? I wish!
Now you run into what I’m calling the Goal Crushers. These are the saboteurs looking at your goals and saying, “Wait, wait, wait. These are big and scary and I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”
Who are these Goal Crushers? To name a few of the more hairy, scary ones, they are…
Fear of Failure
Fear of Judgement
Fear of Being Wrong
Fear of Success
These Goal Crushers pop up exactly when you don’t want them to. Just when you’re ready to take a step forward, one of these Crushers pops out of nowhere, puts on the breaks, and whips out all the excuses.
Do you have a goal to get a promotion? You probably have some milestone goals for achieving this, including letting people know you’re interested in taking on new challenges, putting yourself out there to network, or, gasp, straight up asking for the role you want. You know it’s important to you, because you’ve already done the work to see how this promotion sets you up for the life and career you want in the future. And yet, you just can’t seem to force yourself to have the conversations you know you need to have. What’s stopping you? The Goal Crushers.
What if I have the conversations and I’m told no? (Fear of Failure)
What if I’m laughed at for even trying? (Fear of Judgement)
What if I thought I wanted this promotion and it’s not what I expected? (Fear of Being Wrong)
Worse yet, what if I get the promotion and now I have all these new higher expectations placed on me? (Fear of Success)
I want you to know you are not alone. Everyone has their own Goal Crushers, even if they don’t look exactly like this. The Goal Crushers’ main objective is to keep us safe and comfortable. That’s all well and good when we’re not striving for anything, but goals are meant to push us. They are meant to keep us moving forward toward something we want. To achieve goals, you cannot stay safe and comfortable.
So how do you vanquish Goal Crushers?
Identify the Crusher - This requires some reflection. What are all the objections and excuses that come to mind when you think about taking the steps you’re having trouble taking?
Show self-compassion - Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge and appreciate your specific Goal Crusher. It’s here for a reason. “Thanks Fear of Failure. I get it. You don’t want me to get hurt. I appreciate that AND I know this is something I’m willing to take a risk for.”
Create safety - Create an environment that will make the steps feel safer. Identify baby steps that will give you some confidence and momentum. Identify recovery plans or alternate paths should something not go as you plan.
Choose courage - Without fear there is no courage. Trust yourself.
Overcoming the Goal Crushers is really hard, especially for the really big, important, meaty goals. But think about it this way, the more resistance you’re feeling from the Crushers, the more you know you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone into something really bold and beautiful. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen.
Go You!