Habits to Help You Through Life’s Transitions
Transitions are tough. They symbolize change, and change often brings about a sense of newness, uncertainty, and vulnerability. While transitions can usher in new opportunities, our brains are instinctively geared to spot potential threats first. Thanks, Evolution! Navigating through the initial fears and vulnerabilities can be daunting, but we know there is growth and opportunity on the other side.
Lately, as the Back-to-School season approaches, I've found myself reflecting on transitions. My oldest is starting Kindergarten. Suddenly, I'm a mom to an elementary schooler. Yikes! As my husband and I walked away from the school this morning, I was hit by waves of uncertainty.
"I won't get pictures and updates every day? How will I stay informed?" "Now we have two separate drop-offs and pick-ups? How will this work?"
I felt a loss of control, and, oh boy, do I like control.
Honestly, in the broader context of life, this is a relatively minor transition. But here's the catch: most transitions, big or small, evoke that universal moment of "Ahh!" We're pushed from the safety of the familiar into the unpredictable unknown. It's not something we humans are naturally comfortable with.
Letting fear and uncertainty drive the narrative can erode your confidence, making you feel more like a victim of transition than someone who's empowered by it. And let's face it, working parents don’t have the time or energy for that.
We need a mindset shift that allows us to embrace the transition and the potential it brings, helping us keep afloat amidst uncertainty.
I know this is true for me right now. This new “parenting big kids” phase, with its new challenges and freedoms, is something I want to wholeheartedly embrace.
Facing a transition? Consider adopting these three habits:
Ground yourself in what’s not changing. Write it down if it helps. This anchors you, offering a sense of stability and perspective amid the uncertainty. Be it a tangible routine like your morning workout or intangible commitments like always striving for excellence at work.
Formulate a personal mantra emphasizing kindness and grace, such as, "I'm doing the best I can while I figure this out." Transitions demand patience and understanding. Contrary to popular opinion, self-criticism is not actually a healthy form of motivation.
Seek support. It might feel challenging to ask for help, but chances are you're not the first to undergo this transition. If you hesitate, wondering, "What will others think if I ask for help?", counter that with, "What do I stand to lose if I don't seek help?" It could be wisdom, experience, or simply time and energy.
Minor hurdles or towering challenges, transitions have the power to reshape us. So, when the next change comes around, remember: it's an opportunity for self-discovery. Steady yourself with the constants, have self-compassion, and never hesitate to seek help. This isn’t your first transition and it won’t be your last!