The Power of AND: Embracing the Seasonality of Life

At some point in every working parent's life, there comes a moment when you ask yourself, “How am I supposed to do it all?” How am I supposed to be a present and engaging parent, excel in my career, support my partner, family, and friends—and still have time for me? The question can feel overwhelming, often hitting us when we're already stretched thin.

The uncomfortable truth is that you can’t do it all. At least, not all at once. We have to embrace the seasonality of life—acknowledging that there are times to lean into work and times when our most important role is that of a supporter or caregiver. The idea that we must be excelling in every aspect of our lives, all the time, is a social narrative that many of us have internalized. It’s exhausting. And not to overplay a gender card here, but it’s exhausting for both moms and dads. Moms have the social burden of being the default caregiver even when it’s their season for a career. Dads have the social burden of being the breadwinner, even when it’s their season for caregiving.

So how do we embrace the seasonality of life? By shifting our mindset to focus on the power of AND instead of BUT.

Take this example: “I love what I do for my career, AND right now my priority is my family.” In this framing, both parts of the statement hold value. It’s not, “I love what I do for my career, BUT I need to focus on my family.” When we use BUT, it implies that one area of life diminishes the importance of the other. It introduces conflict and guilt, which only adds to the pressure we feel. The word AND acknowledges that while we may be prioritizing one area right now, it doesn't negate the value of the other.

Imagine the stress we could release if we embraced the power of AND. Rather than feeling torn between competing roles, we could appreciate the natural flow between them. There are seasons when work will require more of our attention (it doesn’t make you less of a parent), and there are seasons when family life will take precedence. That’s okay. It’s not a failure to shift focus; it’s just life.

The challenge is that we’ve been conditioned to believe that success means excelling in every area, all the time. But no one can sustain that without burning out. Instead, consider the possibility that living a full, meaningful life is about playing different roles at different times, and doing so with intention. Sometimes, you need to reserve time and energy for work, and other times, you’ll be fully immersed in your family’s needs. Neither diminishes your worth or contribution.

So let’s take a deep breath and give ourselves permission to embrace this seasonality. Instead of battling with the BUT in our heads, let’s replace it with AND and recognize that we are capable of holding multiple priorities—just not all at once. It’s not a race to “do it all,” but a lifelong journey of balancing, sometimes focusing on career, sometimes on family, and sometimes, yes, even on yourself. Notice the active use of the verb “balancing.” An end-state of a perfectly balanced life doesn’t exist. Intentional balancing does.

What season are you in right now? What might change in your life if you embraced the power of AND? How would it feel to honor your shifting priorities rather than fight against them? There’s freedom in letting go of the need to constantly balance everything and instead allowing ourselves to live seasonally, knowing that each moment has its own priority. And that’s enough.