Setting Boundaries: “Superwoman” Isn’t a Job Title

Ah, the modern working mom. You’re expected to crush deadlines, lead inspiring team meetings, and whip up a Pinterest-worthy school lunch—all before 9 a.m. Between paid labor and unpaid labor, the requests for your time and energy can seem endless. Enter the “Superwoman” picture of mothers today. The result? We’re stressed out, burnt out, and at our wits’ end.

Who’s coming to save Superwoman? Well, no one. We may have to save ourselves and we can start with boundaries.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Boundaries? I barely have time for breakfast, and now I have to set limits? Yes, dear working mom, you do. And you know why? Because you control your boundaries, not anyone else.

1. Boundaries: Your New Best Friend

First, let’s get one thing straight. You control how you hold your boundaries, not your boss, not your kids, and definitely not Carol from Sales who emails you at 8 p.m. (Seriously, Carol, stop.) It’s easy to feel like you’re at the mercy of everyone else’s demands, but boundaries are a superpower only you can wield.

As stated by one of my favorites, Brene Brown, “When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” We own the responsibility for holding our boundaries.

2. People Can’t Read Your Mind

We have to define our boundaries before we can hold them. This might seem obvious, but in the chaos of work, family, and remembering to eat lunch, it’s easy to forget. You can’t enforce what you haven’t defined. Want uninterrupted time after 5 p.m.? Need 30 minutes to yourself to mentally prepare for your kids’ soccer game? Don’t want to work on weekends? Say it, out loud. No one’s going to guess that “I’ll see what I can do” means “I’m overwhelmed and can’t take on one more task.” When we assume others should know they’re asking too much we end up with resentment and anger.

So, define your boundaries clearly. You’re not being selfish, you’re being strategic.

3. Enforce It Like a Boss (Even If It’s Hard)

Here’s the kicker: setting boundaries is one thing, holding them is another. We all know that boundaries are only as strong as the consequences behind them. The final key is setting the expectation for what will happen when people (inevitably) push those boundaries. Because, spoiler alert, they will.

Whether it’s politely letting your boss know that after-hours emails won’t get a reply until the morning or letting your kid’s school know you have to pass on the next volunteer event, it’s about follow-through.

Setting boundaries is one thing; sticking to them is what gives them power.

As I believe you cannot over-quote Brené Brown, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” In other words, setting and holding boundaries is the ultimate self-care. Read that quote again. It’s a gut punch because it’s true.

So, there you have it: boundaries are your new survival skill. No cape required, just a little self-love, clarity, and assertiveness when needed. After all, as a working mom, you’re already a hero. Isn’t it time you started acting like one for yourself?