5 Lessons from Parenthood that Translate to Leadership
When I’m facilitating leadership development workshops, there is always a person who says, “Maybe I should try these lessons at home!” They mean it in jest, but the sentiment is true! The meeting room and the family room may seem worlds apart, but as any parent who's also stepped into leadership roles knows, the skills required in both arenas overlap in surprising ways. Negotiating with a toddler might prepare you for leadership challenges more than any formal training ever could. Here are five invaluable leadership lessons gleaned from the most demanding job that exists: parenthood.
1. Communicating with Someone in an Emotional State Is Never Effective
We've all been there—trying to reason with a child in full meltdown mode over a blue cup when they wanted the red one. No amount of logical explanation about why the color doesn't matter will penetrate that emotional barrier.
Similarly, in leadership, timing is everything when it comes to communication. When someone is overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally charged, they simply cannot process information effectively, no matter how clearly you present it.
The leadership takeaway? Learn to recognize the signs of emotional overwhelm in others. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is to provide space, postpone that difficult conversation, or simply ask, "Would this discussion be more useful after you've had a chance to take a breather?" Just as with children, adults need emotional regulation before rational discussion can occur.
2. We Have to Acknowledge Good Behaviors More Than Wrong Ones
According to research by the Gottman Institute, the recommended praise-to-correction ratio is about 6:1. We know that children thrive when their positive actions receive more attention than their missteps. Yet in our leadership roles, we often fall into the trap of only providing feedback when something goes wrong.
As leaders, we need to actively seek opportunities to recognize achievements, effort, and growth. Research consistently shows that people who receive regular positive feedback are more engaged, motivated, and committed. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “Why should I acknowledge someone just for doing their job?” Because, honestly, they don’t have to. They can leave.
The leadership application is clear: create an environment where catching people doing things right becomes the norm rather than the exception. Your team will not only perform better but will be more willing to hear constructive criticism when necessary because they know you see their complete picture, not just their errors.
3. Our Own Triggers Often Make a Situation Worse
Ever found yourself overreacting to a small infraction because you're exhausted, hungry, or stressed about something entirely unrelated? In parenthood, we learn (often the hard way) that our own emotional state can dramatically amplify minor situations. For me, it’s being in a time crunch. I become the shouty parent and make everything worse.
The same principle applies in leadership. When a deadline is missed or someone challenges your ideas in a discussion, your reaction might have more to do with your own stress levels than the actual situation at hand.
The leadership lesson here is profound: develop self-awareness about your emotional triggers. Before responding to situations that provoke strong reactions, ask yourself: "Is my response proportional to what's actually happening, or am I bringing additional baggage to this interaction?" This pause for self-reflection can prevent unnecessary escalation and preserve trust.
4. We Have to Let People Fail So They Learn How to Get Back Up
Perhaps one of the hardest parenting lessons is resisting the urge to rescue our children from every potential disappointment or failure. We know intellectually that resilience comes from experiencing setbacks and developing the skills to overcome them.
As leaders, we face a similar challenge. The instinct to step in, take over, or prevent mistakes can rob others of crucial growth opportunities. When we constantly shield people from failure, we inadvertently communicate a lack of faith in their abilities and deprive them of the satisfaction that comes from solving their own problems.
Effective leadership requires creating a safe environment where reasonable risks are encouraged and failures are treated as valuable learning experiences rather than catastrophes.
5. Consistency Matters More Than Perfection
In both parenting and leadership, we often place immense pressure on ourselves to get everything right all the time. But children don't need perfect parents—they need consistent ones. They thrive on predictable boundaries, reliable responses, and knowing what to expect.
People you lead are no different. They don't expect you to be infallible, but they do need you to be consistent in your values, communication style, and application of expectations. When leaders are erratic, others waste energy trying to predict reactions rather than focusing on what truly matters.
The leadership insight? Establish clear expectations and principles, then apply them consistently. When you make mistakes (and you will), acknowledge them transparently. People will respect your humanity more than an unsustainable facade of perfection.
The parallels between parenthood and leadership remind us that at their core, both roles are about nurturing humans for growth, potential, and resilience. It’s also a reminder that our experiences and relationships translate regardless of the venue. I hear many of my clients wonder if they’re ready for leadership roles because they don’t have the “education.” Education is valuable, but lived experiences are just as, if not more, valuable. If you’re a parent, you have plenty of leadership experience. Lean into it!